The truth about guys

I'm not sure how qualified I am to even write this post. I've had crappy boyfriends that shouldn't have been worthy enough to have that label to begin with, nice guys that I thought were "too nice", guys I realized were better off as friends, boys that I tried to fix, terrible first dates, and good ones that just weren't meant to be. Somehow though, I have found a really amazing person who is my best friend. And boyfriend.

I see a lot of girls blog about bad relationships of any kind. I see a lot of TMI posts on facebook about girls who almost love the misery of a failed date or a poor off and on relationship. I see tweets about girls crying because they might not find anyone again. I see comments on google about doing anything to get a boyfriend. I see girls jumping to get married because they don't want to be an old maid. People settle. All the time. When they shouldn't.

Not that I can say I've never felt like any of these situations before, because I have. But at the end of the day there are a few truths that I know about guys. You may already know these and if you do, I hope this reminds you! I'm positive any guy worth having would agree with me. (I've also done some "research" on google to compare what I think vs. what's "true" on the internet. I was right.)

These truths are:

1. Be yourself.
My boyfriend knows I like twilight. And I'm 25. Does he like this? Nope. Does he like that I'm interested in something? Definitely. Yeah, I'll give his stuff I don't think I'd like a shot. But if I STILL don't like it...I nicely inform him it's his thing, not mine. And same goes for him. He's seen the first two twilight movies (there may or may not have been some bribing involved but he still did it.) I take a long time to get ready. I don't hide it. Sometimes I'm grumpy when I'm rushed. Sometimes I'm grumpy when the alarm goes off. If you don't love yourself, who will?

2. Eat.
I don't know why girls pretend they don't eat on dates. And if you don't eat enough, you really should. Guys judge you if you barely eat your meal on a first date. Don't order seconds here, but you know what I mean you finishing 1/5 of your salad eaters.

3. You don't have to be a b*tch.
You know that book that's so popular "Why Men Love Bitches"? Well it's not true. Men like women who are nice. And if they treat you poorly when you're nice...they probably weren't a MAN to begin with.

4. Don't text every hour. Don't call every hour.
So if you're already in a relationship and you do this. Good for you. But if he doesn't text back right away that doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Or not thinking of you. Actually I take this back. He's probably not thinking about you. And that's okay. Guys aren't always thinking about the relationship. But that doesn't mean it's not important. If you're just starting to date someone, do NOT text them all day every day. It's unhealthy for one. Two, being needy isn't attractive.

5. Hints don't work.
I'm guilty of this one. Sometimes I aspire to be who I want to be by aspiring NOT to be certain characteristics. In the past I was scared of being overly direct for fear of acting like a brat and I would beat around the bush about what I wanted. Guys are not like girls. They do NOT pick up on things. If you want to do something, you have to say "I want to _______" ...if you want them to do something more you have to say "I'd like it if _______" and that's it. No you don't need to explain (unless of course what you're asking for isn't simple OR there is a problem in the relationship.) Another example here, if it's important your guy accompanies you to an event and he seems hesitant all you should have to say is "I'd really like it if you _____. It's important to me." Almost too simple, right?

What guy truths do you know?


  1. I think that every girl should read this! FOR REAL!

    great tips makes me so glad to be married though! relationships are a lot of work and dating just sucks most of the time!


  2. This is great advice. I am also guilty of "hinting" around. I still do it, because, like you said, I don't want to look like a brat. My fiance has even told me he does not pick up hints, but I still do it! haha.

  3. Hehehe...this has some *very* valuable info! It's hard enough trying to hold on to a relationship without all the *other* crazy stuff going on! I can attest to that, even when you're married!!! (c: And AMEN to the "hints don't work"...took me a couple years to figure that one out...(c:

  4. Yeah, these are all definitely true! I have been there and done that and made a thousand now-hilarious mistakes along the way. My biggest lesson learned through all of it is that "game-playing" shouldn't be a required part of the equation. Like, if you find yourself constantly plotting out moves like, "Well I called him first last time so he has to call me first this time", or "i have to act like I'm not interested in order to keep his attention", well... that's just way too stressful. It shouldn't be that hard. Sometimes that guy you're chasing so hard because he's complicated and mysterious is actually just a clueless jerk. :) But I'm happy you have an awesome sweetheart who appreciates you for the totally fantastic girl you are!

  5. Amen, sista! This is all soooo true! Being yourself is definitely a big one. At first, it may be hard to open up about certain things but if you can't be honest about who you are, you'll never be happy! Great pointers :)

  6. Such great advice!! I totally agree with the eating on a date thing..why do girls do that?!

  7. some great truths. something i have learned from past relationships and my marriage that being comfortable enough to be my super-sarcastic-and-sometimes-blurting-(mean)-things-out-self is what they love the most. and i think the older you get the less you care.

    a note on that whole eating thing - i'm not going to lie, i've heard guys say that's how they want their dates to eat. very little. ladies - if you are dating a guy that expresses this to you, get up and leave immediately. you do not need that in your life. i say eat your heart out. get the most expensive thing on the menu, order that filet medium rare and enjoy it. it's free, right??

  8. I never use hints with Frank. I tell him how it is and how i feel and what i want otherwise I dont think he gets it... but he does surprise me sometimes.

  9. This is really great advice! When I try to use hints with my husband, they just blow over him immediately. So I'm glad that part is in there!

  10. the first one is very true gotta love yourself how can you expect someone to love you when you don't love yourself, majorly important! i would say additional don't expect to fix or change a guy it will never work! they are who they are, either except their flaws or leave, it is that simple

  11. every girl should read this one! these are all right on. "the hints" one is a good one, i'm not any better at picking up on hints than my boyfriend is.... people should just come out and say what they want and shouldn't apologize for it.
    i used to be the worst about saying what i wanted, i didn't want to make anyone else uncomfortable. Silly, right? i think is such a thing as being too sensitive to the feelings of others.

  12. I agree with all of these! And I would like to add that we, as women, remember that our guys are real guys, real men, not actors in chick flicks. Sure they have their romantic moments, but we shouldn't expect them to be mind-reading, hint-grabbing, know-everything-about-you-at-the-blink-of-an-eye kinds of guys. As long as he finds his own way to make you feel appreciated (my guy tells me I'm his best friend all the time, and that just makes me melt) then we should occasionally take a chill pill. I know I'm guilty of hopeless romantic expectations on occasion. :) Awesome post miss Hollie.

  13. Umm yeah, hints totally do NOT work. It has taken me many years - married years even - to realize this to be true haha.

  14. I definitely agree with these! This is a great post that I think every girl needs to read. I've been with my now finance'(!) for almost nine secret? Just be yourself! He should love you for you :)

  15. Your blog post title reminded me of Kelly's fake PSA for 'The Office'

    Great blog post, I really enjoyed it.

  16. Fabulous post!! So true!

    I like your new blog look too :)


  17. Great post my friend! And, soooo true! Nothing is better than being authentic in a relationship! Great advice for all women! :)

  18. I needed this! Thanks for sharing -- like your blog a lot too :)


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