Guest Post: And Everything Nice

A BIG thank you to Anna for guest posting today! I feel like I need no introduction? You all know how I feel about her ;) She is being WAAAAY too nice to me below by the way. Anyhow, we can all relate to this post about friendships...and the sometimes friendships. Happy reading! PS-It's true. I may or may not be a prancer ;) PPS-Follow Friday is THIS Friday. 


Hi friends! I’m so happy to be filling in for Hollie while she’s prancing through the streets of New York City, though I’d much rather be prancing with her. I bet she’s a really good prancer. As most of you know, Hollie and I are pretty good friends and we might (HAHA) meet in August. And while we haven’t met in person our friendship is very real. We disagree, we more than agree, she makes me laugh, I try to make her laugh…it’s a very rewarding friendship. And in this age of mean girls finding real friends can be hard. Plus, as we get older it gets harder and harder to maintain friendship with women. Why is it so hard? I’m not here to answer that, but I’m here to give you a few tips on how to spot a frenemy and how to NOT treat your real friends.

Is there any subject a someecard hasn’t broached? You might have a frenemy if you’ve heard something like this:

I’ll admit that these are things you can say to your friends and not mean it, however, if you’re saying this with true feelings you might be a frenemy. And for those who are hearing this from said frenemy my advice is this: walk away. Do whatever you need to do to get this person out of your life. Sometimes that means changing your phone number and moving to another city. Do it. But I know that spotting a frenemy isn’t always easy (and then there’s denial..) so I want to help you spot a frenemy.

With the help of Ellen Lupton and her book, The Essentials of Fabulous. 

Frenemy: A person who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy; a rival with which one maintains friendly relations.

·      You mention in a phone call that you’re working on a new project and Frenemy’s response is to change the subject.

·      You continue talking about the new project and Frenemy suddenly has to take an incoming call (and never calls back to continue the conversation).

·      You get a new hairstyle and Frenemy says, “Did you get a haircut?” and then doesn’t comment.

·      You’ve been invited to Frenemy’s house for dinner. Frenemy knows you’re a vegetarian. Alas, there are no vegetables on the menu. Frenemy tells you, “I have a good friend who became a vegetarian and her complexion has gone gray.”

·      You’re about to celebrate a birthday that ends in zero. You mention to your Frenemy that you’re starting to feel “old.” The nest time you see Frenemy she looks at sympathetically and says, “you know what? Youare starting to look old.”

·      You are between jobs. Frenemy repeatedly talks about someone else’s successes.

·      You’re looking for freelance work. Frenemy leaves you a voicemail saying, “Call me fast. I may have a lead for you.” You call her. And call her. And call her. Two weeks later she returns your call and remember the lead.

·      Your husband has taken a new job that involves commuting. You tell Frenemy that you don’t think it will impact the closeness of your marriage. Frenemy responds, “I had a friend whose husband commuted and within a year he was cheating.”

I had to break up with a supposed best friend a few years ago and I’m not gonna lie, it was not easy and I still think about her and really do wish her well. That doesn’t make her any less crazy and horrible to deal with. Is my life better without her? Yes. Am I happier? Yes. Do I get to put more effort into the relationships that I love having? Yes, yes and yes. Because real friends can say things like this without any hurt feelings:

Have you had a frenemy experience? How’d you shed the toxic relationship?

Xo,

Anna – And Everything Nice