The ugliest word. Hate.

I spent a long time this past weekend talking with a friend about internet hate. She was recently featured on a style video featuring fall trends, had received some mean spirited feedback on YouTube (and a few positive comments) and was taken aback. Not hey, I don't agree with you comments but ones directed at her look and style. (As a strong woman, she's brushed off this nonsense and decided to not read comments but nonetheless it bothered ME which is why I wanted to start a conversation with you all.)

As bloggers, I think some of us fear those anonymous comments with unnecessary negative feedback. (I personally have blocked comments from anonymous users...I'll say it I'm scurred of those grouches out there.) I'm not talking about a difference in opinion. I'm not talking about about constructive criticism. I'm talking about straight up mean. I'm all for examining myself and recognizing I may not be right.

What I really found interesting is how different social media sites stir different vibes and environments. Why is that on Facebook when most of us have a "username" that is our real name, we are less likely to make an attacking statement to another we are friends with? Why is it that on blogger or youtube where we can hide behind a "username"(that doesn't give our identity) we will say more hurtful statements? I feel that Twitter is a more business oriented networking site and MOST (not all) users use it as a tool to connect and inspire others with similar interests. I frequent YouTube but tend to not leave comments on videos as the interaction level seems pretty immature.

I'm interested in what YOU think about this.

What sites house more hateful anonymity?

How do you deal with purposely hurtful feedback online?



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17 comments:

  1. oh Hollie, we have been talking about this at my house lately!

    i watched the film "disconnected" on mtv the other night...it was about how some people use technology/the internet as a tool for hate. i think the internet is a powerful tool and it can be used for good or evil. It can inspire and connect or it can spread hate and fear. I wish everyone was responsible enough to use the tool carefully and for love. Of course, that is not always the case. We are lucky to be part of a loving blogging community that doesn't condone that sort of behavior.

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  2. It saddens me when people have their feelings hurt after they open their heart up and share with others. :) All we can do is keep writing, show more love, and just move on with it! Don't let the meanies get you down!

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  3. I agree I am scared of sometimes getting negative feedback about things I post on my blog. I am so glad you wrote this, it is very well written! I hope you have a wonderful day!

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  4. I know right so true? Some comments are just so hurtful and negative. The blogging community is a community of people who inspire and share their stories with others and it really bothers me to see negative comments from people. I mean, why bother reading or watching a video if you don't like it, right?

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  5. Brush it off! That's what I do, after all they are not the ones supporting me and my family. Sad there are people out there who are miserable and have nothing better to do with their time than to try to get others to be miserable like them. From my part I'm happy no matter what anybody else says :) And yes youtube seems to be the most of the time the site for the low minded individulas, therefore it NEVER gets a comment from my part.

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  6. i completely agree with you. I stay away from leaving comments on youtube because something of substance gets lost so easily in all of the immaturity out there. I don't understand why negative comments and hate is necessary. If some one doesn't like something... it is a lot more simple to close out of the page than it is to leave a hurtful comment.

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  7. You want to know where I have seen the most shocking and awful comments? Message boards - especially theknot, thebump, etc. I mean, OMG, it's SO bad. Most of the people are genuinely nice people, but all it takes are a few to ruin it for everyone else. It's sad really!

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  8. I think we are all a little scared of the meanies. I'm SO glad we have the power to remove those comments.


    -Sarah
    http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com/

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  9. Firstly-- that potate pic is sooo hilarious. I about fell off my chair.

    On to more important talk. I hate hate. GAH. I don't understand why people want to hate on others and remain anonymous too! It's like, really now, own up to your opinions! If someone doesn't like what they see, they can simply stop looking or change what they're looking at, right? SHEESH!
    ♥ laura

    the blog of worldly delights

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  10. Thank you for shedding light on this issue, Hollie! It is so sad that people that hide behind their fake usernames can bash people online. GET A LIFE....is what I want to tell them. I am looking forward to reading all the comments from the blogging community on this one. <3

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  11. i totally agree with you. it's a disgusting word. whatever happened to "if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all." I once read the comments on Perez Hilton and they were so awful. I've never looked again. lol. so glad i stumbled upon your blog. adore it. i'm totally following. If you get sec I'd love if you'd check out of my fashion and style blog and see if you'd be interested in following as well. Thanks love. xoxo

    www.fashboulevard.blogspot.com
    LA adventures from a southern girl.

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  12. I don't like meanies either! I just don't see the point in being so negative toward others and then hiding behind it with a fake name- it's cowardly! I really like what the commenter (Jessica Rose Delee) said above "GET A LIFE!"

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  13. hahhahaha "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gunna potate." That is great.

    Someday, haters will realize that they are wasting their time on hatin' and instead they'll start lovin'; lovin' themselves so that they can love and appreciate others. It's just a matter of time :)

    J.Lynn
    http://wildyetzenful.blogspot.com/

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  14. aw this is so messed up.
    I know the "friday" song was really cheesy and funny but the girl talked about how people on the internet said a lot of hurtful things to her.

    it's awful what people think is okay to right behind a username. it still does the same damage.

    thanks for bringing this up.

    Lindsay

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  15. Anonymous internet hating has always bothered me. I've been fortunate enough to have much personal experience with negativity on my blog, but I always get upset when I see it directed at other people. And you're right. There's a definite difference between constructive criticism and just plain meanness. Which is why I don't blame anyone for moderating comments or deleted negative ones.

    Good post lady!

    xoxo,
    Joelle

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  16. this is a great post! i just got a rude anonymous comment yesterday and it so hurt! why do people do stuff like that? i don't get it! But I think youtube is by far the worst on the negative comments!

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  17. People are so "brave" behind their anonymity, and it's ridiculous the things people will say and do just because they believe there can be no repercussions for them doing whatever they want. It's apparent by the string of teen suicides due to bullying, a lot of it online, that this is a serious problem, and unfortunately, it seems that it is not limited to the teenage world.

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Thank YOU for your comments. <3